Life

Me = ????

My defining inner dialogue (since I was about 15) was that I wanted to be a writer. I may have been wrong.
And that, dear friends, is like walking around nekkid. 

It was my dream job, but I never chased it – just mused about it and got frustrated. Everything was holding me back! I couldn’t be a writer because because because. 

The last few days I’ve been paying attention to how I structured my life, what I enjoy doing, what I make time for, and writing isn’t one of them. 

Maybe I’ve been wrong for 30 years. 

So, my next experiment is to remove it from my head. Not a writer. Writing a novel/movie/kids book is not a goal of mine. That leaves a huge void, and I need to figure out what to fill it up with.  

Kind of like an elimination diet, but in a mid-life crisis sort of way.

Habits

Between Two Walks

I did not forget again. Well, I remembered, then I forgot, and then I remembered. I really thought that writing every day for just a few minutes would be a piece of cake, but as I try to do it I didn’t realize what a time crunch I am living in. No wonder I always felt so harassed all the time.

But at the same time, it doesn’t Beyoncé only have 24 hours in a day? Granted she may have some assistance and “people”, but then again I am not doing a world tour or have any photo shoots coming up. At least not yet.

So far this experiment has been illuminating. I didn’t realize that I was always rushed for a reason. I thought I just had a bad attitude. Nay, my life says, your inability to write on a regular basis is confirmed due to life.

Going forward I think I’ll have to write prep more – like get all the meals planned and not hit the snooze button in the morning. Even this had taken me dictating during a morning dog walk and finishing up after an evening dog walk. 

I don’t know how I’m gonna do it but I have to find a way.

Habits, Running

Oops. Running, Not Writing.

Shut up it’s been over a week since I posted. 

It’s a shame, cause I write all the time. In my head. During commute, walking the dogs, making my coffee. Always when I’m doing something else and my hands are occupied. Relevant and interesting topics too. Swear.

This morning I did a little Halloween 5k run with my sister. We used to do half marathons and she considered a full marathon for a while, but those days are behind me for now. I did Disney runs where it was 10k one day and a half marathon the next, mostly for the three medals I would get, but training takes up too much time. I would be getting up at 5 am seven days a week. Pass on that. 

Difference: I got married, and now have two dogs. Keeping a Labrador and Australian Cattle Dog tired past the point of destruction is a part time job in itself. Now with a longer commute (It used to be 4 minutes! FOUR MINUTES! The sacrifice I made for love!), and a husband that likes to snuggle, changes had to be made. 

The 5k was fun, and I’ll post pictures later when my sister sends them to me. We are doing a Turkey Trot next month, and I want to improve my time. I have the running mindset of longer distances, which is very hang back-hang back-ok now GO. Must learn to push earlier and longer. Nothing like being 10 minutes behind a lady pushing a double stroller to motivate you, regardless of how badass she is (monster!).

Still can’t believe how much I lagged in my new writing goal. Learned, I have. This is going to take a little more concentration.

Habits

One A Day

An assignment: to post to my blog once a day for 30 days.

Why? I need to get in the practice of writing, and making time for it.

I always envisioned writing taking place at a wooden desk, facing a window with a view, in a starched white shirt and wearing glasses (although I don’t need them). In reality I just need to lock myself in a closet for a few moments.

BUT, I have always wanted to write, have always written, and have scores of files stuffed with miscellaneous notes and starts of things.

So I am just practicing. I’m curious, too, to see if this takes me somewhere or nowhere.

For now, I offer my sleeping pup as amusement.