dogs – freckled crab

Forest Turf Wars

I thought living out here in the woods would bring me serenity. Birdsong, mossy trails, that whole “Thoreau with Wi-Fi” vibe. Instead, I appear to be smack in the middle of a low-key turf war, fought with sticks, passive aggression, and camouflage netting.

First off, the lean-tos. Somebody had put time and effort into these—serious Lincoln Log energy. Straight branches, tight lashings, the kind of craftsmanship you only get from someone who’s watched at least three full seasons of Alone. And now? They’re knocked down and scattered, like Mother Nature threw a tantrum.

Then there’s the trail sabotage. My once-clear paths now have artfully dropped branches blocking them, like a woodland version of “You Shall Not Pass.” Not enough to be dangerous, just enough to trip over and mutter about while trying not to spill my travel mug. Honestly, it feels like a passive-aggressive beaver is running a HOA out there: “Oh, you wanted to walk HERE? Sorry, bylaws say detour through this thistle bush.”

And let’s not forget—it’s deer season. Which means men in ghillie suits now roam my dog-walking area. Imagine walking your sweet pup through the pines and realizing a shrub just winked at you. The forest floor crunches, your dog perks up, and suddenly you’re having a staring contest with a bush holding a rifle. Delightful.

What gets me is the sheer variety of combat tactics. Some mysterious woodland faction is going for brute force (lean-to demolition). Another is playing psychological games (branch barricades). And then the ghillie squad just… exists, like some kind of sniper-themed Easter egg hunt.

It’s ridiculous, but part of me admires the drama. Most neighborhoods get passive-aggressive notes about trash cans. Mine? Full-scale forest feuds with set design.

So tomorrow, when I leash the dogs and step into my “serene” backyard, I’ll be prepared. Maybe I’ll carry a rake, or maybe just bring popcorn. Because honestly, the forest turf war has better plot twists than half the shows on Netflix.

What I Learned While Housesitting

Friends were going on a 10 day trip and their planned house/dog sitter fell through, so in I swooped. I took Mayhem for a cortisol vacation (it’s a real thing, google showed me) since it’s been nothing but change for her for 8 months.

The home was immaculate. I mean, I was looking for dust and finally found some on day 5. The pup is an older, extremely well behaved Labrador. She poops on command.

And this is what I learned (besides that by comparison my house is filthy):

1. Mayhem does not need 2+ miles a day. Oh she’ll do it, but she’s almost 8 years old and doing so kept her body in a state of stress. Short bits of training and play, with every third day or so getting a long walk is enough.

2. I was keeping myself in a constant state of stress by running these dogs all over the place when they didn’t need it. Yeah, 6 miles a day is a great way to lose weight, but I was physically and mentally exhausted.

3. My husband’s laid back vibe that drives me crazy sometimes was good for the pups at home. Olive was less clingy, while Ruckus and Pepper kept each other fully entertained.

4. I can relax at home and not constantly worry about what dog needs what. They are fine.

I actually sat and read this weekend and didn’t exhaust myself. It was great.

I Made It

I did you guys. Two weeks alone with three dogs (and another one was in boarding). The puppy, Ruckus, is 5 months old and learned he can jump over his exercise pen. Faaaaantastic.

It wasn’t that bad, really. The hard part was bringing Pepper, the one in boarding, back. She is a love, but her and one of my other dogs do NOT get along. So I approach it like introducing a new dog. Which led me to a lot of research. Which led me to the Leerburg YouTube channel where they lay down the law. They come across gruff, but they’re saying the same things my dog trainer is (but she is tiny and adorable so it sounds softer coming from her).

This is a new mindset, guys. I was very dress-the-babies-up-sleep-in-the-bed, but that’s a one or two dog household, not 4. Four makes it less an animal lover house to a complete lifestyle.

Yeah I cried this morning. Four dogs screaming for attention, hungry and have to poo and just had a big rest.

But I made it.

Same, But Different

For the past year or so I’ve been going way deep with story structure. Books, podcasts, courses. I find the phrase “learning your craft” presumptive and cringy, but that’s what I’m doing, if I considered my book a WIP (a work-in-progress for the snooty snoots), and not an HMOUD (hot-mess-of-unrealized-dreams).

And for the past six months I’ve also gone way deep on dog training. YouTube, trainers, podcasts. We adopted a dog who is so much fun, but she and one of my current dogs hate each other.

What I’ve found is that for both of these things, there are a thousand ways to get to the truth of the matter. There are foundations that can’t be denied. Certain things have to happen or what you want to happen just…won’t. You can dress it up anyway you like – the path can be long and winding or straight and narrow, but you’re going to the same place.

For writing, there are foundational beats that a reader expects for the genre, and tension that has to exist. Your protagonist has to make hard choices, and for me that’s hard because I’ve made very few hard choices. But to my credit, the ones I made were biggies (even though sometimes it was the wrong choice).

For dog training, there are rules and boundaries a dog has to understand, otherwise they get out of whack and become a mess. Implementing those boundaries are hard for me (note the above bad choices).

So, for two things at the same time, I am learning that I and my life situation are not special, and if I want to get where I want things to go, I have to act like my protagonist and make things happen.

That’s all I got for tonight guys.

My Countdown

I had a countdown going on for a minute there. It was for my vacation, in case you were curious. I had all kinds of plans for the blog countdown – a quick post daily, photos of the dogs every day so then I could make a cute video. Whole lotta nope.

I can think of two schools of thought to that – either I’m putting too much pressure on myself to do something that is a hobby, OR, stop being a lazy, procrastinating asshole. You can probably tell I agree more with the latter. Because I am a jerk. An undisciplined jerk.

Now that I’ve explained, I need a new countdown date. I have a bday with a zero in it coming up, so I could do that. No I will not say which decade I will be entering because you would be shocked, shocked and dismayed, by my immaturity. My emotional development stopped somewhere in the high teens but luckily I have other qualities that balance that out. Or that’s what I’m assuming because I do have friends that aren’t family and I am married so someone likes me.

Holy crap I just googled it’s less than 60 days until I am ?0.