I really do. Saying someone is “broken”, when referring to an emotional state, just doesn’t make sense to me.
Why? Because they cry? Because they’re lost? Grieving something? Because they’re a mess?
Sure, some people are more resilient than others, and some stay down longer than others, but in my mind, never “broken”. That’s for a spoon or a bones or a computer. Feels very judgmental.
I’ve been noticing it a lot recently, and it’s been bothering me. Makes me mad when I hear it.
Friends were going on a 10 day trip and their planned house/dog sitter fell through, so in I swooped. I took Mayhem for a cortisol vacation (it’s a real thing, google showed me) since it’s been nothing but change for her for 8 months.
The home was immaculate. I mean, I was looking for dust and finally found some on day 5. The pup is an older, extremely well behaved Labrador. She poops on command.
And this is what I learned (besides that by comparison my house is filthy):
1. Mayhem does not need 2+ miles a day. Oh she’ll do it, but she’s almost 8 years old and doing so kept her body in a state of stress. Short bits of training and play, with every third day or so getting a long walk is enough.
2. I was keeping myself in a constant state of stress by running these dogs all over the place when they didn’t need it. Yeah, 6 miles a day is a great way to lose weight, but I was physically and mentally exhausted.
3. My husband’s laid back vibe that drives me crazy sometimes was good for the pups at home. Olive was less clingy, while Ruckus and Pepper kept each other fully entertained.
4. I can relax at home and not constantly worry about what dog needs what. They are fine.
I actually sat and read this weekend and didn’t exhaust myself. It was great.
I did you guys. Two weeks alone with three dogs (and another one was in boarding). The puppy, Ruckus, is 5 months old and learned he can jump over his exercise pen. Faaaaantastic.
It wasn’t that bad, really. The hard part was bringing Pepper, the one in boarding, back. She is a love, but her and one of my other dogs do NOT get along. So I approach it like introducing a new dog. Which led me to a lot of research. Which led me to the Leerburg YouTube channel where they lay down the law. They come across gruff, but they’re saying the same things my dog trainer is (but she is tiny and adorable so it sounds softer coming from her).
This is a new mindset, guys. I was very dress-the-babies-up-sleep-in-the-bed, but that’s a one or two dog household, not 4. Four makes it less an animal lover house to a complete lifestyle.
Yeah I cried this morning. Four dogs screaming for attention, hungry and have to poo and just had a big rest.
But I made it.
For the past year or so I’ve been going way deep with story structure. Books, podcasts, courses. I find the phrase “learning your craft” presumptive and cringy, but that’s what I’m doing, if I considered my book a WIP (a work-in-progress for the snooty snoots), and not an HMOUD (hot-mess-of-unrealized-dreams).
And for the past six months I’ve also gone way deep on dog training. YouTube, trainers, podcasts. We adopted a dog who is so much fun, but she and one of my current dogs hate each other.
What I’ve found is that for both of these things, there are a thousand ways to get to the truth of the matter. There are foundations that can’t be denied. Certain things have to happen or what you want to happen just…won’t. You can dress it up anyway you like – the path can be long and winding or straight and narrow, but you’re going to the same place.
For writing, there are foundational beats that a reader expects for the genre, and tension that has to exist. Your protagonist has to make hard choices, and for me that’s hard because I’ve made very few hard choices. But to my credit, the ones I made were biggies (even though sometimes it was the wrong choice).
For dog training, there are rules and boundaries a dog has to understand, otherwise they get out of whack and become a mess. Implementing those boundaries are hard for me (note the above bad choices).
So, for two things at the same time, I am learning that I and my life situation are not special, and if I want to get where I want things to go, I have to act like my protagonist and make things happen.
That’s all I got for tonight guys.
While we were eating dinner last night, I was watching my puppy in his pen. We have his old crate in there that we started keeping his toys in, and he was fussing with that. In the end, he realized he could get on the crate and that would make him higher up, and possibly closer to us, so he tried, and he did it, and it was a mess.
Much like that first paragraph.
But he did it.
So of course I turn it into something about ME and a life lesson that you’re supposed to learn in your adolescence. That’s why I’m here with you now, at 5:18 am, with only one cup of coffee in me, and fingers that are swollen from a salty dinner, still trying to get into practice of writing and not being afraid of an IMPERFECT MESS. A mess, I tell you.
///so I started this and my internet was lame and now it’s 8 pm and I’m watching Fargo by the fireplace. Hopefully tomorrow I will remember what point I was trying to make///
freckled crab 