Category Archives: Humor

I Made It

I did you guys. Two weeks alone with three dogs (and another one was in boarding). The puppy, Ruckus, is 5 months old and learned he can jump over his exercise pen. Faaaaantastic.

It wasn’t that bad, really. The hard part was bringing Pepper, the one in boarding, back. She is a love, but her and one of my other dogs do NOT get along. So I approach it like introducing a new dog. Which led me to a lot of research. Which led me to the Leerburg YouTube channel where they lay down the law. They come across gruff, but they’re saying the same things my dog trainer is (but she is tiny and adorable so it sounds softer coming from her).

This is a new mindset, guys. I was very dress-the-babies-up-sleep-in-the-bed, but that’s a one or two dog household, not 4. Four makes it less an animal lover house to a complete lifestyle.

Yeah I cried this morning. Four dogs screaming for attention, hungry and have to poo and just had a big rest.

But I made it.

Anyone Got A Marker?

I live sandwiched between a two-lane highway and a national park. That kinda makes it sound cramped and compressed but it’s not. Hmm. It’s more of a relaxed, meatball sub instead of a smooshed grilled cheese. You know what I mean.

Anyway, there are deer and chipmunks and coyotes and EVIDENTLY A COUGAR.

Can you read that? The notice about how there is an apex predator in the neighborhood that someone wanted to warn us about by putting pencil to freaking yellow paper?

PENCIL!
YELLOW PAPER!

Seems like whoever wrote this isn’t going to be that sad that someone and/or their pet goes missing. Oh wait! What if this is the murderer’s preamble? Plausible deniability? Ooohhhhh. What if it’s for ME?!?!?

Also, those e’s kinda bother me. They look like part of the Michelin Man, all wayward and round.

So that’s my news.

Day 5

  • I had a funny observation earlier today, but I forgot what it was. I always think I’ll remember, and I never do
  • Skidded on ice during my drive into work this morning and almost hit a big moving van head on.
  • Had to change the dressing on Mayhem’s foot because I forgot to wrap it during a pee break. She snapped at me a couple times, but I did it!
Not their usual formation but I didn’t want to disturb the patient

Day 1

Was up at 4:15 am and felt a bit proud about that, but still a bit panicked about the upcoming cold snap. Negative 26 degrees won’t crack the house open, I think, but I’m scared of things happening: pipes cracking, septic tank exploding…I can’t imagine what -26 feels like but I’m about to find out. Last year the lowest was -13. I wanted to get out of the heat and humidity, but as usual, I overshot.

  • Ate a huge pancake right out of the pan,
  • Kept a baking show on the TV all day to keep me calm,
  • Two loads of dishes,
  • Scrubbed the fridge,
  • Shoveled snow from the side steps, and walkway, and created 2 dog paths. It’s not melting anytime soon and the weather app predicts clouds with light blue stabby knives coming out of them, whatever the heck that means, but it can’t be good,
  • Rolled-up towels and blankets to stop drafts, my addiction to rubber bands coming in handy and secured the rolls with them,
  • Took the dogs out for mini-walks. They were so happy to go outside but got cold pretty quick and looked at me accusingly,
  • Took a two-hour, man-sized nap,
  • Smeared Aquafor on my face like three times,
  • Brought in some miscellaneous pet toys that were outside, and
  • Threw carrots to the bunny that is living under the front porch.
Mayhem & Olive

Skipped dinner, which I may regret soon, but Day 1 down.

Cat Collusion

Jailbreak

Characters:

  • Stevie-San – cat, 12+ years old, male, fixed, lover boy
  • Mishi – cat, 14 years old, female, fixed, skittish
  • Georgie – cat, 2.5 years old, male, fixed, teenage punk

I had a peeing issue for a few nights. I’m not the one that peed, but I was the only one that had an issue with it.

Mishi started peeing on my couch. At first we thought it was Stevie, him being older, possibly having arthritis, etc., but we put him in a room overnight and lo and behold – pee-o-rama on my couch.

After a few mornings of 6 am laundry and a gallon of Urine Be Gone, we decided to put Mishi and Stevie-San downstairs, which is a long hallway with several rooms branching off. In the rooms are litterboxes, food, water, a heated cat house, a regular heater, soft blankets, and a cat scratcher. I mean really, it’s a kitty cat paradise. Stevie gets along with everyone, so he’s a bit of a therapy cat. Mishi is not a fan of: plastic bags, loud sounds, being picked up, and other cats (except Stevie).

We prepped the room, turning on heaters, laying out blankets, then did the duck duck goose dance of this cat in this room while we get that cat in that room. Once properly placed, we blocked the cat egress hole with a box and weights, this way Mishi wouldn’t get upstairs at night and do her deed.

Well, this lasted for two nights. I woke up on the morning of the third day to see Stevie wandering the halls and two pee spots on my couch. I went to research the forensics of the situation and in the picture above you can see all I needed to know. It’s clear Georgie helped. He’s a young punk that needs to be in the middle of everything, and there’s no way little old Stevie moved that box.

It fun to see the whole “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” in the catscape, though they all still drive each other nuts. We’ve doubled up on the weights, and it did the trick. One week and holding.