Days 32-45

My developmental editor ghosted me. Is that a sign?

I’ve been working with her for two months, and have learned a lot. I’ve been trying (mostly thinking) about writing this book for over a decade. Just recently I got serious about it and decided I needed some real hand-holding. I was overthinking things and totally lost. So I found her off of a reputable resource.

Anyway, sent off my payment for February, did my assigned work, and on our zoom day, nothing. Two days later I still haven’t heard a word.

This made me question everything. I took it to the whole drama level-is this indicative of my future? Am I wasting my time? Should I just give up?

WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE I’M A FAILURE!!!

For a whole day I wallowed, I cried, I had a mini breakdown. I walked the dogs until they resented me. Truthfully, it was due.

But I woke up today better. I just dread the email I have to send her asking for my money back. I don’t know what’s with me being nice to people who aren’t nice to me. I think: how long should I give her? What if there is a real excuse? Should I wait for her to reach out?

I think I’ll wait until Monday afternoon…see if she reaches out. If not, I will, but I have to break it off. This is not cool. What could be a legit excuse? Death in the family? She’s in the hospital? Those are probably the only two. What the difference is in 24 hours I dunno.

Thanks for talking this out with me.

Pls no more walkies only cookies

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