Life

What A Podcast Can Do

I’m listening to a podcast that is telling a real story about a mentally abusive and manipulative man. In it, interviewees are talking about the red flags of his behavior and things he did, which eventually led to his death. 

As I listen, I’m learning about how emotionally abd mentally abisove my ex-husband was. When I was married to him, I thought things were off, that the rug was constantly being yanked out from under me. But now I am listening to similar behaviors being described about someone else, and the impressions it left on people, and while I’m listening I’m thinking “oh yeah, I know that move” and “jeez that’s familiar”.

I was with him for a long time. I know him like the back of my hand, and I didn’t know him at all.

I have found out, just recently, about things he did (and didn’t do) when we were together. 

I learned that I can’t believe anything he ever said to me unless it was substantiated by a third person. Let me modify that – a third person who I personally knew would not lie for him. In our 13 years together, I only know one, and we didn’t go around that person that much.

I told my current husband about it, that I may be more affected than I thought I was, but he said it was ok, he kinda knew but married me anyway. He is on the business of reading people and interviewing them, so there’s not a lot I can hide, even unintentionally.

Gosh. I hope I don’t have nightmares tonight.